Those who regularly read my blog know my writing style pretty well, but mostly they are aware of my opinions on feminism. Writing feminist articles was not really in my plans when I started this blog, but after I wrote about the battle sex workers are leading worldwide, I found out so many people are genuinely interested in such social matters. Recently, I happened to stumble on an Italian “radical feminist page” on Facebook and the first thing I read was a post about bikinis. Now, I have no intention whatsoever to mention the page in question and risk the chance of even giving it bad publicity. My intention was to pick their statement and comment on it, but unfortunately, I can’t find it on their page anymore. Maybe it has been deleted (and that would be a blessing) or maybe I am the one who’s incapable of finding it in the pile of hatred that these ladies like to spread like Nutella on their everyday bread. Either way, I am asking for your forgiveness and to have faith in me when I mention that specific post and the things that have been said. Just to give you a taste of their poison I have cherry-picked some other statements from other posts which I will gladly translate for the non-Italian speakers. Am I starting a war? That’s a possibility, but I can’t stand still one more minute watching a crucial social movement being used to create a cult.
Well, well, well, where do I even start? The post that got my ticking bomb to explode had a specific main topic: bikinis. These gentle ladies wrote pretty clearly that bikinis should be banned because they promote “female objectification”, they are unfair to women’s “real bodies” and they fuel patriarchy and men’s dirty desires. That’s quite a lot to do for such a small piece of cloth, don’t you think? So let’s start from the first deadly sin: female objectification.
The so-called “objectification of women” is indeed the most stupid thing human beings came up with since the invention of the hypodermic needle theory of communication. It sounds a lot like something that could be phonetically ok, but really doesn’t mean anything. I challenge you to take 10 seconds and think about the real meaning of these words. Got an answer? I don’t, because I am still laughing my ass off. I remember I started to hear these words when I was around 11 in regards to the valets that used to dance during TV shows. I thought it was clear those girls were objectified because a mean male boss was telling them to do so. Then, while growing up, I realised very roughly nobody points a gun to these women’s head to force them to show up on TV and earn a couple of grands for a five-minute appearance. Most of the times we are talking about professional dancers who willingly decided to perform for the better-paid TV show business rather than performing in a super-selective ballet company. Again, a more inclusive path was created for all those female dancers who didn’t “fit in” in the existing performing landscape and again, try telling me one meaningful difference between a professional TV dancer and a classical ballerina if you can.
So I moved the question from “why are those women considered objectified?” to “who is saying those women are objectified?” and I finally found my answer: other women. And not just any women, women who would call themselves feminists. Very good then, as I previously stated in one of my articles, feminism is a social movement that was born and carried on throughout the past century to let women have the same legal and social rights as men. After we gained many of the fundamental human rights, we moved on to sexual and social freedom battles during the 60s. The core argument of feminists was to fight for their rights, to play at the same level as men did. So how would you react if in 2020 a feminist is there to point a finger at you, telling you what job is appropriate for you to do, what clothes you should put on your back and what things you should and shouldn’t think? It simply scares the hell out of me! Let’s go through some of their statements:
Believe it or not this page actually has a photo album called “Other forms of Objectification” (it’s hilarious, I know) and in there I found a picture of a sex doll called Harmony which apparently comes with emotions and also behaves like a sex therapist (you can talk to her and she would answer like a real person). I think it’s a brilliant item and I must not be alone because they have sold an insanely high amount of them. This is what the ladies of the feminist page think of poor Harmony:
Shame on you Harmony! How dare you making guys believe women can put a leg behind their head? Each word of this statement is potentially fake: big natural breasts exist, most vaginas are small and modify mainly because of childbirth and if you ever took dance classes for more than a year, Harmony looks like an amateur in terms of flexibility. Also, if sex “machines” have to be banned, you better say goodbye to the vibrator hidden in your purse too. Vibrators are now considered “beauty products” and you can find them on sale on any major beauty/clothing online store. Basically, you are telling people to stop masturbating, because if using a sex toy is unfair to women, it’s unfair to men as well. You can easily figure out their next argument in line is about porn and the sex industry:
Pornograffitti - The Sex Workers Battle
Dear fellow feminists, in case you haven’t noticed, a lot of sex workers are women just like you. They have two arms and two legs and they deserve the same respect as any other human being. I already exposed my thesis on the sex workers’ antagonists and I’m here to repeat it: there is no right or wrong job, there are just people whose dream is not to be a secretary, a manager, a gardener, a mother or a salesperson. You have to give other women the choice to do the job they want to do as long as it doesn’t hurt other people. The moment you tell another woman what to do in her life you are drawing a social scheme for her, the same one our ancestors fought to escape from. Those feminists say porn has nothing to do with freedom of sexuality and healthy sex. On what basis can you say that? Have you ever even taken the time to talk to a sex worker? Or are you just upset about that knockout that you found in your husband’s tablet? I bet without porn people would have no idea of how giving you an orgasm and how would you like that. I could go on forever but I will move on to their next thesis: the unfairness of the bikini, which sounds so snazzy I might use it to name a song.
MY FAIR BODY
Barbie Girl - 60 Years of Pink Empowerment
Well, while our dear feminists here were too busy counting glitters on their bobby pins, history books kept existing. Google could come handy too in finding out that the very first big step towards modern women swimwear was made by a woman: Annette Kellerman, the Australian synchronized swimming pioneer. In 1907 Annette showed up on a beach in Boston wearing a swimsuit that would uncover both arms and legs (a quite accurate ancestor of the one-piece swimsuit we wear today) and she was arrested for indecency. Now, I bet you would support the bravery of Annette Kellerman, she stood up for her right to pursue a career in sports which was pretty badass for those times. And now, if you are not entirely blind, please tell me the difference between a one-piece swimsuit and a bikini. Even a two-year-old can tell the only difference is that a bikini uncovers your belly and your back. That’s fucking it. Yeah, yeah, the actual bikini was drew by a male designer, just like Monsieur Christian Dior shaped his jackets to underline women’s waist or like Mr. Burberry stole trench coats from male wardrobes to rethink them beautifully on women too. It’s funny how all those nasty male designers managed to be more feminist in 1946 than you are showing to be now. Would you like to erase all the clothing items that were designed for humanity and wear a shapeless potato sack? You are free to do so, but something tells me you will still gaze voraciously at that beautiful Valentino red gown you can’t afford.
Let’s focus on what really bugs you then: the way a bikini looks on you. You buy Vogue July issue and you see an endless chain of pictures of size-zero models wearing bikinis without a hint of fat, love handles or cellulite. But instead of accepting your body the way it is and assert the fact that Photoshop is an incredible business resource, you prefer to blame the fashion industry and all the other women who don’t have the same imperfections as you do (they might have a lazy eye though!). For the way I see it, if you feel good with your body you shouldn’t care about what others think and certainly you don’t feel the need to accuse a mannequin to be outrageously skinny. It’s when you don’t feel good with yourself that you begin to point your finger at things that really have nothing to do with your state of mind. Eating disorders are not given by the fashion industry, just like a teenager doesn’t shoot people because they’ve been playing Call Of Duty.
High heels and thongs used to be a man’s thing back in the past, so I’m afraid it has nothing to do with your persecutory delusions. I feel good wearing heels, dammit I’m gonna wear them even if at the end of the night my feet are twice as the size they were before putting my shoes on. If you have social anxiety and insecurities of any kind you won’t solve your issues by following a guru that blames skinny cover models for it. If you’re fat or “curvy” (as if the meaning is any different) you can live your life happily or if those extra pounds are a burden do something about it, not because “society says skinny is beautiful” but because you want to feel better with the skin you live in 24/7. You think Vogue is going to stop hiring size-zero models because you can’t be like that? You think all your issues are the fashion industry’s fault? Grow up and accept the fact that if you don’t care about looking like models, models don’t care about looking like you. We are all different and being an adult means dealing with all the imperfections we are made of.
IT’S A MAN, MAN WORLD
What pains me most about this whole matter is not really a bikini or whining waxing haters. What really gets me mad is the need of feminists to draw a deep line in the sea of genders, the strong belief that men are our enemies and we need to fight them all, no matter what. Real feminist movements tried to give us all the tools in order to play fair and reach equality, but what I really sense here is a strong will to reach supremacy, to do everything we can to say “every man is shit, we are better than you”. This is by far the most idiotic thing to say because first of all you are a human being. Men are human beings just like you and if you don’t like being judged because of the genitals nature wanted you to have, neither does a man. Yes, history has been unfair and brutal, but you are now living in a society where possibilities are just endless and sorry, but one’s fortune is only determined by skills and luck. Stop right there, I’m not selling rainbows here, I’m well aware of the fact there are multiple kinds of societies and different cultures where a woman’s condition is nothing but deeply unequal. I’m focusing on the kind of society the feminists I’m criticising live in, because it’s the same as mine.
You might say I’m lucky, but statistically I can’t be this much lucky. Oh, believe me I know what’s like. I have been navigating the music industry since I was 15 and been called a slut, ice queen, female sassy nazi, whatever. Often, I have been given tickets and backstage passes just because I looked pretty. But each time something like this happened, I blamed it on the particular person who did that, not on the entire species of men. With time, I learned how to twist a bad situation into a good one, I built my armour and managed to surround myself with many intelligent men who see me as a peer and not just as a female to harass. And you know what? The recipe is actually quite easy: avoid ignorance as much as you can and be the first not to give a damn about what you wear because if you spend all your days thinking “Is this dress too much? What will people think of me?” then you are the first to create the problem. If you normalise the things you do then it will be normal for others as well and when you stumble on the next idiot, raise your middle finger and give them a piece of your mind. If I had to be honest, the biggest attempts to my self-esteem have been made by other women, jealous and frustrated snakes that live to tell you how wrong you are. Just like these modern feminists are doing.
Violence is the real problem. Job inequality is the real problem. People without an adequate education are the real problem. With an endless list of what should be priorities in a feminist’s agenda the only thing you you can get angry at is a fuckin’ bikini and how unfair it is to your body shape. Wow, I’m surprised you haven’t received a Nobel yet. We should speak out and stand up for the abused ones, those who get beaten or yelled at everyday, those who are scared of exploring their sexuality. But no, we need to complain for fucking bikinis first. Those people are trying to transform feminism into a cult, beliefs that lead to isolation instead of inclusion and anger channeled towards generic segments of society. Think about the hate you are spreading and ask yourself if that’s any different from supporting an extreme political ideology or religion. Give respect before you ask for it. And good luck with banning bikinis from this world.