I’m Feeling Supersonic

I’ve never been a nervous flyer, but there is always something a bit scary in taking off for something new. But a recent experience I had featuring a sort of guardian angel, spirit animal or whatever it was taught me a precious lesson: take things less seriously.

The truth is that we can be control freaks all we want and fool ourselves that we can predict what will happen to us, but we don’t and we never will. We can’t force people to understand our point of view, our efforts, because if we pull the lead the dog will bite our hand and we will inevitably fall in a vicious circle made of pain and anger.

Balance is something that you learn when you have to. And if you’re standing on a ring fighting alone someone clearly bigger than you, with no crowd cheering for you and with both your eyes black, maybe asking for a second round is not the best idea.

So you take a break and you feel like you’re in hell. Too many thoughts and fears are a burden too heavy to carry. You sit and you freeze because maybe you never actually stopped and looked around before. Everything that seemed crystal clear is now grey, blurry, and you begin to ask yourself why the fuck you used to see rainbows in the exact same spot just a while ago.

Defrosted but still numb you have nothing but a bag full of stones. Heavy, drab, useless. People who never gave a damn about you will start asking where is your fabulous Vuitton overnight bag and you will lie to them saying it has a broken handle while you really trashed it because it was full of shit. They will smile. You will smile. The uncomfortable conversation will be over.

But then it finally comes a day when something changes. It will be the day you’ve been waiting for so long that you will recognize for sure. You are ready to talk to yourself, to move away from what made you suffer so much and to see a small light at the end of the tunnel. People will come to you again asking the same question as before, but this time you just tell them to watch their own fake Chanel 2.55 and walk away. They won’t smile. You will smile. The uncomfortable conversation will be over again.

You see, I do believe we need to experience even those processes we would label as dramatic, vengeful and generally not positive in order to find out what our priorities really are. In the end, there is no saint nor sinner, but the two of them coexist in each one of us, perfectly blended like the most excellent gin tonic. And once we know how strong our gin and how fizzy our tonic are we will be the most confident drunk anyone has ever seen.

So here’s to you, whoever you may be, I hope I will have something meaningful to tell you. Cheers

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